People say you should plan on double the time and double the budget when you undertake a remodeling project. I would add to that, "Double double, toil and trouble!", as the witches in MacBeth chanted. It's a mystery to me why some of my friends "love, love, l-o-v-e!!" remodeling, while I catch myself wishing I could have my adorable little rundown 1952 cottage back. So what if the kitchen drawers didn't close, the cabinets were hanging askew, and my oven was 15" wide? So what if the Creeping Fig grew through the kitchen ceiling? My house was charming, deferred maintenance and all.
I thought a good title for this post would be, Self-Discovery and the Art of Remodeling. But on second thought maybe that should be the title of a book I write about my saga. If I write it, it'll start like this: five things I've learned about myself while remodeling.
1. I might be a tad overreactive. When I saw that the exposed beam across the kitchen didn't align with the exposed beam over the entry, I told our contractor to tear down the house and start over. I could tell he thought I was being a bit overreactive but he handled it well. Ideally I'd rather not confront everyone on everything all the time, but inaction in that moment would have led to long evenings reclining on the sofa, staring at misaligned beams, and dreaming about tearing down the house. Sometimes being a tad overactive is what it takes to escape a lifetime of regrets.
2. A few things matter a lot. Number one on that list is having everything level and centered. I told my contractor I would hire him if every sub who walked into my house had a level in his hand. So when the center point of the new peaked roof over the entry was off-center by half a board, I told them to take the whole thing off and rebuild it. In the past I might have talked myself out of doing something that bold. I probably would have tried to ignore the problem (see sofa realization above), but now I'm thinking, Look out, Hillary! I'm sure the Oval Office is already remodeled and the move to DC would be a piece of cake, especially since all my earthly goods are packed and in storage.
3. I like the idea of being in charge more than I like being in charge. Last year I told Morgan that I would agree to remodel (which I'd been stalling him on for about for 15 years), if I could be completely in charge. Naively, I was thinking more about the freedom to choose a farmhouse sink and glass front cabinets than the stress of selecting one color of white paint from 500 possibilities. Turns out there are some downsides to being a control freak.
4. Timeless trumps trendy. I would probably love having a blue stove and a painted Italian tile backsplash, but I chose a stainless steel stove and white tiles for the splash. Granite can be lovely, but I chose white quartz. In fact, everything is white or about to become white! I know that white is trendy in its own way but it represents something about my core self and temperament. (Oh wait! Maybe it represents my future in the White House!) I think I'll feel better having a white backdrop with moveable, changeable, color and pattern placed here and there - even if it means missing some beautiful permanent possibilities.
5. I whine. I left this self discovery for last because it's really too bad that I whine. I've started making a guest list for the open house we're planning for after the project is finished, and I decided to include all the people who have listened to me whine. It's going to be a huge party. I'm wondering why in the world I have a nagging bad attitude. We've been staying at our friends' condo at the bay, about two miles from our house. It's peaceful, small, bright and cheery. The beach is literally 30 steps away (I counted), our pets are happy, the neighbors are delightful. Seals, seagulls, giant blue herons, and egrets share the beach with us. I could live here forever! Meanwhile, my fabulous designer/project manager/sister does everything for me up at the house while I escape the dust and chaos and decision making. I guess my whining, anxiety, doubt and regret are all about learning to let go and move on. And that, dear friends, is probably my biggest lesson of all. It's time to treasure what has come before, and at the same time turn the page and embrace the next chapter of my life. I know it will be worth it in ways I haven't even imagined. As 100% of everyone I know says, It will be beautiful when it's done!
